Two months ago I caught cabin fever due to staying indoor most of my time, overwhelmed by news on the current pandemic, rarely catching up with friends face to face do makes you feel lonelier, however for several month gue berada di circle baru yang memberikan gue banyak gelas terisi so I can pick to fill my own cup. it feels good to be surrounded people who shines brighter than you and able to validate your thought hence I no longer push hard myself unnecessarily.
In this chance I want to mention a specific individual who I found being vulnerable with, can spark joy and validate my thought of unnecessary self push. please meet Mba Vinka, a mom with a daughter who currently living abroad whilst also being informed to Indonesia and connected to a learners platform where I also being part of.
Today I’m gonna discuss about non-parental adult friend (NPAF), by the look of it NPAF put you in a role of listening and observing, not being emotionally attached like parent does but as a friend, creating boundaries that create mutual respect yet promote vulnerabilities like friends do, nurturing as an adult yet create distinct line of what non-parental is.
In her article she’s wrote her thought on this role, so for me its only fair if I dig more and tell you what I find to be interesting from this article :
Key paragraph #1
I want them to know that they have a person that will be there to listen genuinely. I’m not promising anything than fresh ears. I’m really happy that it reciprocated. Some was reaching out to ask perspectives. Some chatted to share their stories. Some became the creative partners I never knew needed. Some even shared their cries and their vulnerable side with me. Until now, it still fascinates me how strangers could listen to each other at another end of the world.
This is a first hand testimony, yes, i sense mba vinka taking motherhood role by giving attention genuinely here. being able to seek wiser perspective while being vulnerable is insightful and at the same time empowering.
Key paragraph #2
Doing it attentively and being present to the conversation is truly powerful. I learned to exercise my empathy, effort, attention consciously. It taught me to be neutral, non-judgmental and also gives me more standpoint about patience. All of them is the subject that I still need to grasp.
exercising what you value is important, in this sense yes. i believe the more you practice what you believe the more it becomes a muscle memory for you hence you can multiply the practice to give better intended impact. (and perhaps discovering something new, right mba vinka? 😉)
Key paragraph #3
There will be a time when I couldn’t protect my daughter with my own hands. She’ll be wandering in this vast world. It will be great if she would meet people who keep her safe and believe in the world, just like I received.
what you sow, what your reap ya kan mba. i really like how you believe continuity of personal set values will pass on and what a better way to introduce and nurture rather than practicing.
Key paragraph #4
being an adult who will bring one kindness at a time.
you know mba, making 5 dedicated post about “what you wish you did in 20” leaves mark on me. now im currently listening to “betterman” by Virginia to Vegas. it is exciting to know how people connected even such distance apart.
Kudos to you Mba, Mas and Hayu
P.S by the way knowing this role incite me to also take my part, so please kindly drop me a message if you think I can be a good NPAF for you.
for full article, kindly refer here and read more about her in here
